Aversion to risk

What is wrong with me? I've written about this before, but I still can't shake it. The Red Sox just engineered two incredibly improbable wins on two consecutive nights. I was actually at Fenway for one of them. In the moment I was thrilled, but about 10 minutes after a strange sort meloncholy struck me both last night and tonight. What am I worried about? Not that they'll lose soon, I'm confident that they will. But how close to winning will they get first? I'm terrified to believe in this team because if I do I'll just get hurt. Talk about aversion to risk. And this is just in sports. Walking home tonight, I started having visions of a Red Sox World Series, and that really scared me. Why can't I just celebrate the moment?